What Say You, Jo?

Three months old. Just days shy of 4. The holiday season is upon us. Baby’s first Christmas. My granddaughter Jo’s, first Christmas. My daughter and her family’s home boast warm and wonderful holiday decorations. My son-in-law is masterful with holiday cheer and merriment. I visit often and cherish each time that I do.

A cozy living room and after dinner I held Jo in my arms. Soon shifting her position to offer her a more advantageous view. Twinkling lights fascinate her. Head held strong while peering over my left shoulder. Eyes missing nothing. She seeks the Christmas lights dancing along the fireplace mantle. Red, blue, and green. The colors bounce off her brown eyes that still hold a hint of infant deep blue. Noises and gurgles of delight as if we were in conversation about what we were seeing…

Conversational she is. Interactive and focused. I am convinced she says “hi” as she smiles broadly at me. Displaying one single dimple on her left cheek. Searching, reading, and understanding my facial expressions. Observant of any variation she witnesses. She hears her mother’s voice from upstairs and immediately turns in the direction of the staircase. Always knowing wanting to know exactly where my daughter Emily is…

Bedtime is happening upstairs with big sister Belle. I hear negotiations and laughter floating down the stairs. Small feet scurry from room to room in a familiar cadence that I have long known. Belle walks and runs exactly like my daughter. I can’t help but smile.

As Belle’s bedroom door softly closes and they settle into reading books Jo, and I sink into the quiet of the evening. Cradled in my arms I turn her close to me as she readies for sleep. Her fingers curl around my index finger. Her grip, certain.

I glimpse my great grandmother’s delicate and modest platinum engagement ring on my right hand. It spins heavy. I think about explaining to Jo and Belle about my namesake one day. A remarkable woman. Loved dearly. I hope to have the opportunity to tell them both so many stories of those long passed. Strong and fascinating women are part of their genetics. True for both sides of their family.

For now, today I am simply Gram. It is not complicated just who I am in their eyes. My given name will remain secondary and inconsequential for some time. I readjust and hold Jo just a little closer. The rest of the world seemed to melt away as I looked down at Jo’s beautifully contented face while witnessing glimpses of her mother at this very age…

“There are no words to describe the happiness in holding your baby’s baby.” — Unknown